PERPETUALLY PRODIGAL...

Sometimes I view the story of the prodigal son as a season of life...a period of time when I've lost my senses and gone against my Father's best for me. Sooner or later I'll regain them, realizing the error of my ways, and return home in pursuit of honor and nobility. Other times, I suspect the story represents my condition as a human being...period. A habitual falling short of the glory of God. A recurring theme of failure and compromise which leads me to intimately understand my desperate need for a Savior. It makes me began to catch a glimpse of how colossal his work of redemption is, and how absolutely dependent on it's promise I am. Outside of the grace of God...I was doomed to remain utterly lost. Diseased with sin and imprisoned by vice...beyond any glimmer of even beginning to save myself. I would've hoped that having been on this journey with God for as long as I have, that I would have by now attained a certain measure of maturity and groundedness in the faith. Yet I often feel as helpless and as ignorant as when I first heeded the call of God at all. I know the scriptures speak of a progression of faith, but perhaps that progression goes mostly unnoticed by the disciple themselves. I hope that's at least partly the case. That God sees in me a development of character that I fail to recognize myself. Alternatively, it may just be that I really am as poor an apprentice of Christ as I often suspect...a lowly son who's sold out his birthright...in dire need of a Father's liberating embrace. That when it's all said and done...I am decreased, He is increased...His steadfast love and tireless goodness celebrated for eternity evermore. A humble saint, bowed reverently at the throne of the Master, forcing proclamations of passionate and grateful adoration through the joyful sobs of an eternally grateful heart.

DEFIANT LIGHT

Sometimes the thought of pursuing God or spending time in His presence makes me feel hypocritical because of the sin in my life that I seem unable or unwilling to let go of. I find myself waiting for some magical moment when I can guarantee a significant period of sinlessness before I approach Him. As I reflect on this, I find the thought rather flawed.

What are the properties of light? A burning candle doesn't glow in the dead of night because the darkness has volunteered to retreat. Rather, the flame does only what it knows to do, and the darkness must surrender it's grip. Never before in the history of this world has the smallest candle been extinguished by the darkest night. Similarly, Christ's light in my life doesn't shine because the grip of sin has relinquished it's hold. The light of Christ shines regardless, and the sin is overwhelmed. The emphasis is not on the weakness or power of sin, but instead completely on the omnipotent power of God. A candle shines because of the properties of light, not because of the nature of dark. It is in positioning myself in close proximity to the radiant presence of Jesus, however dark my heart may be, that I find myself reflecting his glory, goodness and greatness. I don't gain control of my sin before approaching a Holy God. It is in approaching a holy God that my sin increasingly loses control.

• The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it.
• Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
• Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

NARROW IS THE ROAD...

Lately I've been feeling the squeeze. Now, there are of course pleasant forms of this phenomenon, but the one I refer to is less alluring. I recall the words of Jesus saying that the road to life is narrow, and that the way that leads to it is straight. Preparation to effectively navigate this kind of path involves a few things. It means I have to travel light...letting go of any unnecessary baggage that might hook on the surrounding clutter or shrubbery, and cause me to lose my pace or my footing. It means I have to be watchful of bandits and thieves who have an easy shot at assailing me. I need to remain ever mindful of the destination I'm pursuing, and of the path I'm on being the only sure way I have of reaching it. I need to resist the attraction of more spacious roads lined with every imaginable entertainment, company and distraction. The forces that seek to knock me of course are varied. Sometimes they arrive in the form of seduction with promises of satisfaction and pleasure. Other times they appear in the form of heartache, trial and tragedy that test my faith and commitment just the same. They all appeal to vanity, and they all lead to vice. Whether or not my symptoms are lust, greed, covetousness, bitterness, cynicism, doubt, rebellion...it matters little. The end result is identical. A life off course. A destiny missed. A purpose forfeit.

I find it so hard so often to do what I know to be right. I feel overwhelmed by my perceptions of what the Christian life requires of me. As if I've been given a task that I was not sufficiently equipped to complete. I feel dwarfed by the temptations and distractions of life...unable or unwilling to set my face like flint toward the face of Christ. I fatten myself with sin and compromise, doubt and stubbornness, and find the yoke I carry become exceedingly heavy as opposed to light as He promised. The road to life seems impossible to squeeze through, let alone to travel at all. I can only echo the words of the apostle Paul: "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" In the end...it was, is and always will be God's grace. Yesterday, today and evermore...by the sustaining strength of His Spirit. I feel again the call to life. The call to nobility and integrity. The whisper of heaven defiantly persistent in the face of life's pressures...beckoning me on an adventure to pursue a Savior and Lord who requires and desires all I have and am, and who promises and offers all He has and is. A worthless, futile exchange? I think not. Oh by God's amazing grace...I think not!