LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

I often hear of the analogy made between the Christian life and the practical waging of war...and rightly so. Battle and war imagery used in depicting spiritual warfare is not a foreign concept when it comes to the Bible. One of the most recent struggles highlighted in Christian media has been the concept of "Every Man's Battle"...the struggle and fight for sexual purity and integrity. Of course, this is a conflict that applies to women as well, and one which has been addressed in similar fashion. And sexuality is but one of the areas where battle lines are being drawn in the name of righteousness and the advancement of God's kingdom. Believers around the world are being taught and challenged to wage war against carnal and ungodly desires including greed, unforgiveness and pride. So...I got to thinking one day.

Looking at lust as an example...which I'll define as a harmful, idolatrous, deviant and obsessive distortion of the beautiful God-inspired pleasure and gift we call sex: The nature of war implies a willful, deliberate resistance against a detestable enemy...an enemy whose ideals and intentions I am in complete opposition to. War also implies an authentic, passionate devotion to the values and characteristics of the entity to which I've pledged my allegiance...be that a king, a country, or an ideology. If this be the case, what am I to do when the alleged enemy I face is not only one I fail to hate, but one I've learned to co-exist with and tolerate...even indulge? What do I do when the kingdom who's interests I'm meant to enforce fails to rouse the previously mentioned passion and commitment in my heart toward it? How do I effectively and perpetually declare and wage war on the enemy of lust or any other demonic vice? It's my belief that this war, and a war it is indeed, is first and foremost fought and won or lost in the deepest reaches of my heart.

It starts with a heartfelt cry to my heavenly Father to be blessed with the supernatural gift of loving what He loves, and hating what He hates. It begins with me being grieved by my own sin in the same way that my sins grieve the heart of my God...and as passion for the glory of His name begins to run through my veins like an unquenchable flame. It is upon this passion that virtues like self-control find their strength. It's to the degree that my own desires are conformed to the will and desires of God, that I can expect a sustainable, genuine victory over the onslaught of depravity launched against me. The greater my hunger for purity, the greater my dedication to the fight for it. (Proverbs 16:26) If my desire for obedience to God is complacent and apathetic at best, my chances of resisting the seductions of hell are about as good as a snowball's chance of surviving in it.

IN THIS MOMENT...

Dear heavenly Father,

It's true to say that I spend most of my life with my eyes blinded, and my mind oblivious to the goodness and kindness you pour out over me. How quickly and easily I allow myself to be distracted. How fickle so often is my devotion to you. I cannot begin to number how often my choices must have grieved your heart. All those times when you would spread out a banquet before me, and I chose instead to grovel in a pig-pen. All those times your outstretched arms awaited my embrace, when I clung to harlots instead. So many times my judgment has been clouded, distorted and tainted.

Yet this moment...even if only for a moment, and even if only so dimly, I recognize You. I acknowledge You. I confess that no-one has ever loved me like You. Through fire, storm, joy and calm, it's Your love alone that has been constant. When I have been faithless, Your love has remained faithful. You have believed in me, cheered for me, dreamed with me...You alone have been my solid rock. You are my unshakable fortress. You are the foundation on which my feet stand firm. You have run out to me, called me your own, canceled my shame and lifted my blame. Your mercy is astounding. Your patience is wonderful. Your compassion is immeasurable. Your kindness is unceasing. Your love is complete. My heart lifts it's praise to You, for You have made me glad. You wipe my tears. Even your discipline is gracious. Let all the earth declare your glory. Let cosmic wonders sing of your beauty...galaxies breathtakingly stretched out in honor to You. Let every creature that draws breath ascribe worship to Your name. In this moment, my soul crowns you as King. Thanks be to You, God of all. Grateful are my thoughts toward You.

In this moment, my judgment is sound and my thinking, clear. My devotion is yours...in this moment.

THE MEASURE OF A MAN...

In his letter to the Hebrews, Paul wrote: "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.". As disciples of Christ, our continuous quest should be the increasing transformation of our attitudes, characters, values and actions into the image of our Master and Lord. Salvation from sin was meant to inaugurate our entrance into the faith marathon of life, not as a laurel to be rested upon as if no further commitment was necessary. Christ is after Christ likeness in the hearts of His people. How do I as a believer embrace an accurate view of myself with regards to my spiritual maturity, and the health and genuineness of my faith. It's entirely possible, and even probable, that I can determine the substance of my faith by the size of the challenge, temptation or trial that overwhelms it. The pressures I cave into, are indications of the level to which my growth in Jesus has progressed.

If this is true, and I suspect that it is at least largely so, then it casts a serious indictment on the caliber of discipleship that I have allowed myself so often to become content with. I imagine there are numerous believers that are in a similar place. When I consider the pettiness and relative insignificance of some of the "trials" and "sufferings" that I allow myself to become angered, discouraged or disheartened over, I become overwhelmingly convinced of my need for a Savior. I become aware of the undeniable fact that I was never, ever going to muster up the moral fortitude to pull myself up by my own boot straps and become a better, nobler man. I was, am, and always will be, utterly dependent on the life transforming power and influence of the all powerful Spirit of the living God. And yet in the midst of my frailty, the tender mercy of the Father invites me to cast my cares upon Him, no matter how heavy or light the load...because He cares for me. What a wonderful thing. May He train my fingers for battle and my hands for war (Psalm 144:1). May he teach me how to surrender to his will...how to master the sin that crouches at my door. The sin that ever desires to slay me.

TINSELTOWN TRUTH

Every once in a while Hollywood comes up with a quote that points to eternal spiritual truths, or encourages and challenges me to live a life worthy of the call of Jesus Christ. Here are a few of the memorable ones that have impacted me:

• "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it". (Braveheart)

• "Every man dies. Not ever man really lives." (Braveheart)

• "What we do in life, echoes in eternity." (Gladiator)

• "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path." (The Matrix)

• "Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon, we must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy." (Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire)

• "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are. It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth now go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers sayin' you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain't you! You're better than that!" (Rocky Balboa)

• "You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one." (Superman Returns)

FRIENDS (Hebrews 10:23-25)

Shame on me. Less than a week into my blogging exploits and I've already missed a day. Tsk Tsk. Is there no end to my incompetence? Anyway...it's 3:32AM as I write this (I did indicate my affinity to the night, did I not?). I have nothing really ground breaking to share. I just wanted to give you blog addicts another morsel to chew on.

I was thinking just a little bit about friendship earlier tonight though. Genuine friendship is one of the greatest pleasures this life affords us, in my humble opinion. Some family are friends. All true friends are family. How many times in my life would I have been unable to summon the courage and strength to continue, had it not been for the selflessness and kindness of friends who stepped in and saved me...carried me...when the weight of my burdens were simply too much to bare. It's one of the most vivid indications we have of the sometimes seemingly unrecognizable love of an intangible God. The kindness, generosity and compassion of friends, invested into our lives, are some of the ways that an invisible God makes His tenderness and affection toward us as plain as day.

Will I accept it as such? Will I allow myself to receive it...when asking for or accepting help is a painful reminder of my vulnerability? Will I become it for someone else? To literally be the physical arms of a spiritual King, and lavish on my friends the goodness He gives. No man is an island. So the saying goes. Let us choose our friends wisely. Let us subject ourselves to their counsel prudently. Let us let go of the fallacy that we can do life alone. Technology has decreased the gaps between cultures, countries, and continents...yet the gap between me and my neighbor is at the risk of being greater than ever before. Friendship. Let us celebrate it. Cultivate it. May it be part of the mortar that holds us up and makes us strong, even as we hold up and strengthen the friends who help us along.

DIVINE INJUSTICE...

I came across this quote a few days ago that really spoke to me. It was at a time when I was struggling with intense loneliness and melancholy. The quote read: "I will not tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death." I have no idea who this saying is accredited to, but the point remains nonetheless. I wonder sometimes about the nature of loneliness. What are its causes? What fuels and drives it? What is it an indication of? Sometimes no doubt, in my own life, it's a reminder of my insecurity; my dependency on relationships and need for community. Not necessarily a bad thing though, right? The line though between what is healthy and not there can be an indistinct one.

Could loneliness sometimes be linked to what I am to consider as part of partaking in the sufferings of Christ? In the so called First World, those of us who claim a devotion to Christ know relatively little of physical hardship for the sake of the Gospel. Perhaps our trials come in a more subtle, yet equally painful form. Rather than violently and swiftly inflicting their mark as a bullet or blade may do, they instead take up residence in our hearts and minds and steadily poison from within. The symptoms vary from a mild, numbing ache that we are barely aware of but never escape, to an inescapable, deafening sorrow that penetrates us in the midst of our solitude and into our very core. I wonder precisely how familiar Jesus was with this human condition. Surely, in the midst of his perfect communion with Abba, he must have longed for the unswerving affection and faithfulness of friends. Did he ever long for the soothing, comforting embrace of a woman he could love and who could love him in return? My theological mindset says of course not...but who knows? This Son of Man who was acquainted with grief; accompanied by sorrow...how much did the frailty of his own humanity cause him pain and woe? I wonder sometimes, in the midst of such enduring emptiness and sadness, how do I find my home; my sanctuary in the shadow of His wing? How do I defiantly sing in the midst of my storms, and stand on the rock that is Jesus as the tempests of life leave me unmoved and unshaken?

This mystery looms and lingers...inviting me to ponder it, wrestle it, unlock it. The days and nights roll by. Times of feeling isolated in the midst of a crowd. Times of emotional barrenness that no romantic companion was ever meant or equipped to address. A void within that so completely and unceasingly demands the person of Jesus, so as to render all other "remedies" pointless, powerless, pathetic and poor. I do not indulge much hope in my salvation from myself apart from the matchless, precious blood of Christ. "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above." Do you know that I love you? I hope so with all my heart. Because I often am unable to convince myself that I do...not nearly as faithfully and dearly as you deserve. Do you know that my heart of hearts is set apart for You and You alone? I wish that were true. Because I often live in ways that offend the notion of devotion to You. Do you know that if I could flick a switch...if it were as simple as that, that I would give you everything I have and am. I throw myself upon your love, mercy and grace. Deal not with me according to my deeds and choices. Give me what is not rightly mine. Give me a place at your table...a home in your presence. Give me your divine injustice...the result of a reward undeserved, and a verdict unearned. I am a babbling fool, a scrupulous wretch, a helpless infant apart from you. Lead me ever more to find you. I love you. Hopefully, more than I suspect.

INAUGURAL SPEW...

Well now...what a day of days to splash my first post on this site. Yes race fans...Valentine's Day it is. The kind of occasion I rank right up along those other noteworthy phenomena like root canals and unscratchable itches. OK...perhaps not that bad. Although some of my experiences of this day are fit for a Comedy Hall of Fame, if there is such a thing. Anyway, to whomever may be reading this, heartfelt greetings to you wherever and whenever in the world this message might find you.

True love. What exactly is that? How do we recognize it when it appears? How do we cherish and protect if once we've found it? How do we handle the disappointment of always being eluded by it? Is there such a thing as a genuine soul mate...that one person that God has destined for us to spend our lives with, before the foundations of the world were formed and laid. Or does God present us with a number of potential companions during the course of a lifetime, and permit us the freedom to choose one over another? Personally, I don't believe these statements to be mutually exclusive. The one thing I'm increasingly aware of about the Creator of the universe is His defiance of any box or neat little file we could try to categorize Him in. And His dealings with us His children are as perpetually unique as the very children that He has fashioned in His image.

Essentially, I believe that both of the scenarios previously mentioned are possible, and in some cases they are intricately entwined. Just because God has purposed for me to be with someone, it doesn't nullify or lesson the value inherent in my choosing to spend my life with them. No more than God enabling me with certain gifts and talents, and my choosing to embrace them and to pursue a calling that utilizes them. I could argue that the traits He created me with left me with little choice with regards to the course my life would take. But that completely dismisses my discernment in recognizing them, my courage in pursuing them, and my faithfulness is cultivating them. Now...a word of caution is required here I think. Just because someone was destined to be my companion does not give me the right to shake an angry fist heavenwards when the relationship falls apart. This is a error that people have often fallen into. "Lord...the woman YOU gave me led me into this...", said the man Adam. God may have ordained for two people to be together, but the responsibility to grow, protect and nurture their union is theirs, and theirs alone. If one thinks, as I do, that cases exist where two people were specifically meant for one another, there is as much requirement for commitment, loyalty, honesty, devotion and selflessness as in any other scenario...until death do them part.

It's a very intriguing and fascinating concept, predestination...whether in regards to relationships or other issues. The days of my life were all written out before I was formed in my mother's womb. That is what God's eternal word says of me. Does that mean that my gift of choice is eliminated? Does it mean that I am just some cowering mouse running inside a cosmic maze, at the mercy of an inflexible path? I think not. The maze is wide open...every interlinking corridor and passageway accessible for exploration. It's just that the infinite mind of a loving God sees my journey outside of the constraints of time and space. My choices, hopes, dreams...all laid bare before Him.

In this maze of life with it's seemingly paradoxical randomness and rigidness, my course in it is absolutely clear in the mind of God...as if there never really was any other option open to me at all. In life and love...I am like a mouse running along the paths I choose...with alternative options and avenues whizzing constantly by. I have every choice in the world available to me. My heavenly Father sees those choices as good as made. My path has always been known and fixed...in an endless maze of possibilities. This is the beautiful mystery of the mind of an adoring, hopeful, omniscient Father.