PARALYMPIC PARADIGMS

 
A few days ago, along with hundreds of millions of people around the world, I watched the final day of the London 2012 Paralympic athletics programme. I witnessed individuals with some of the most severe disabilities known, push themselves to the limit of their physical capability.

A typical response to this kind of display is often pity. Sometimes, it's ridicule or insult. As I watched these athletes compete, I couldn't help but think that if any pity was called for, it ought to rest squarely on the shoulders of us 'normal' people spectating, before it could ever rightfully be directed towards any Paralympian.

COME HOME, CHILD.

The compassion of the Lord is new every morning. The imposing grip of night cannot restrain the glimmer of the unveiled dawn. The sweet Spirit of God makes all things new and breathes upon all things the breath of life. Let us inhale. For sorrow may be with us for the present, but joy will surely come in the morning. There is hope. Resilient, tenacious, unwavering hope. There is a divine gaze that must be met...a security and freedom from striving and storms to be found in the eyes of him who has turned his eyes toward us. To direct our stare anywhere else is folly. To rest our attention any place else, madness...a self suffocation of our souls that can lead only to despair and dismay. I've felt yet again his tap on my shoulder. Yet again have I sensed his invitation...a call to lose myself forever in him that I may inevitably be thoroughly found. I have heard his call home...and for now at least, at this time, I will say: "Speak Lord. Your servant is listening.".

DEFIANT LIGHT

Sometimes the thought of pursuing God or spending time in His presence makes me feel hypocritical because of the sin in my life that I seem unable or unwilling to let go of. I find myself waiting for some magical moment when I can guarantee a significant period of sinlessness before I approach Him. As I reflect on this, I find the thought rather flawed.

What are the properties of light? A burning candle doesn't glow in the dead of night because the darkness has volunteered to retreat. Rather, the flame does only what it knows to do, and the darkness must surrender it's grip. Never before in the history of this world has the smallest candle been extinguished by the darkest night. Similarly, Christ's light in my life doesn't shine because the grip of sin has relinquished it's hold. The light of Christ shines regardless, and the sin is overwhelmed. The emphasis is not on the weakness or power of sin, but instead completely on the omnipotent power of God. A candle shines because of the properties of light, not because of the nature of dark. It is in positioning myself in close proximity to the radiant presence of Jesus, however dark my heart may be, that I find myself reflecting his glory, goodness and greatness. I don't gain control of my sin before approaching a Holy God. It is in approaching a holy God that my sin increasingly loses control.

• The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it.
• Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
• Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

DIVINE INJUSTICE...

I came across this quote a few days ago that really spoke to me. It was at a time when I was struggling with intense loneliness and melancholy. The quote read: "I will not tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death." I have no idea who this saying is accredited to, but the point remains nonetheless. I wonder sometimes about the nature of loneliness. What are its causes? What fuels and drives it? What is it an indication of? Sometimes no doubt, in my own life, it's a reminder of my insecurity; my dependency on relationships and need for community. Not necessarily a bad thing though, right? The line though between what is healthy and not there can be an indistinct one.

Could loneliness sometimes be linked to what I am to consider as part of partaking in the sufferings of Christ? In the so called First World, those of us who claim a devotion to Christ know relatively little of physical hardship for the sake of the Gospel. Perhaps our trials come in a more subtle, yet equally painful form. Rather than violently and swiftly inflicting their mark as a bullet or blade may do, they instead take up residence in our hearts and minds and steadily poison from within. The symptoms vary from a mild, numbing ache that we are barely aware of but never escape, to an inescapable, deafening sorrow that penetrates us in the midst of our solitude and into our very core. I wonder precisely how familiar Jesus was with this human condition. Surely, in the midst of his perfect communion with Abba, he must have longed for the unswerving affection and faithfulness of friends. Did he ever long for the soothing, comforting embrace of a woman he could love and who could love him in return? My theological mindset says of course not...but who knows? This Son of Man who was acquainted with grief; accompanied by sorrow...how much did the frailty of his own humanity cause him pain and woe? I wonder sometimes, in the midst of such enduring emptiness and sadness, how do I find my home; my sanctuary in the shadow of His wing? How do I defiantly sing in the midst of my storms, and stand on the rock that is Jesus as the tempests of life leave me unmoved and unshaken?

This mystery looms and lingers...inviting me to ponder it, wrestle it, unlock it. The days and nights roll by. Times of feeling isolated in the midst of a crowd. Times of emotional barrenness that no romantic companion was ever meant or equipped to address. A void within that so completely and unceasingly demands the person of Jesus, so as to render all other "remedies" pointless, powerless, pathetic and poor. I do not indulge much hope in my salvation from myself apart from the matchless, precious blood of Christ. "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above." Do you know that I love you? I hope so with all my heart. Because I often am unable to convince myself that I do...not nearly as faithfully and dearly as you deserve. Do you know that my heart of hearts is set apart for You and You alone? I wish that were true. Because I often live in ways that offend the notion of devotion to You. Do you know that if I could flick a switch...if it were as simple as that, that I would give you everything I have and am. I throw myself upon your love, mercy and grace. Deal not with me according to my deeds and choices. Give me what is not rightly mine. Give me a place at your table...a home in your presence. Give me your divine injustice...the result of a reward undeserved, and a verdict unearned. I am a babbling fool, a scrupulous wretch, a helpless infant apart from you. Lead me ever more to find you. I love you. Hopefully, more than I suspect.