"WHAT IF?"

Someone very close to me on the verge of death once told me that life is to be lived in such a way that when we arrive at the end of our journey, we have as little unanswered "What if?" questions as possible. It reminds me of a quote I once read. "Regret for things done can be tempered by time. It is regret for things not done that is inconsolable." While I don't believe this statement to be universally true, it does highlight a very relevant fact: There is far more lingering and painful regret attributed to things undone, than to things that should never have been done. This is a generalization of course, and there are undoubtedly many situations where the opposite is true. However, when I do something regrettable...there are lessons to be learned and there is wisdom to be gained if I embrace the humility to welcome them. Alternatively, for the things that I should have done and desired to do and have forever lost the opportunity to pursue...that kind of remorse can linger for a lifetime.

I'd much rather live my life in such a way that my scars and bruises are indications of my growth, as opposed to never having risked or ventured very much at all. A full life is about experiencing as many memorable moments as possible...for good or bad. I'd much rather look back on my days from the balcony of old age with an abundance of crests and troughs to reflect upon. This to me, is abundant life. Not safety. Not predictability. Rather...variety and extremity and all increments in between. Heart-wrenching valleys and breathtaking summits. But God willing, never the grey, apathetic twilight of inaction and neutrality that knows neither defeat nor victory. I refuse to believe and accept that this is the kind of meager existence I entered into this world for...irrelevance. No! I resist the seduction to retire to the grave entirely without incident. I will delight in the fight. I will safeguard my light, and NOT fade quietly into the night.