EVERY MORNING...

I saw flowers blossom again for the first time this year. Yet again, the earth that God has formed reminds me that Winter was never meant to stay...gloom never meant to maintain. As surely as the days lengthen and the landscape brightens, God's mercies remain brand new each morning. The dawn of every new day finds Him turned toward me, arms outstretched, bidding me to claim the healing and grace that His Son died to purchase for my sake. I'm invited to invite within the warmth of a flawless love that ushers in newness and light and expels all traces of night. Life abundant. Peace transcendent. Joy resplendent. Love...always and forever...radiant as the Summer sun.

TAP ON THE SHOULDER...

There are a few simple things in life that make me feel like a million bucks. The kinds of things that, when they happen, remind me of the kind of man I always wanted to be. I was thinking back lately to some of these situations from my past.

A little 3 year old girl, hair as red, big and curly as a little Annie, a total stranger to me, seeing me from across a crowded room and running at top speed to wrap herself around my leg and not want to let go. To this day, I have no idea why that happened, but I know how it made me feel...trustworthy, innocent. Or like driving a beautiful girl home that I had just had a first date with, and seeing her fall asleep peacefully in the seat next to me, because she was totally convinced of the fact that she was safe in my company.

Or like in recent days, picking up and hugging a friend's little baby girl, and have her nestle her head into my shoulder and hold on close. These simple things are a beacon of light to me...an indication of the things that are worth aspiring to...of characteristics worth pursuing, of the kind of man that in the deepest part of me I hope to increasingly become. Noble. Gentle. Honorable. Thank you lady and babes...hint taken.

THE LITTLE THINGS...

I need to relearn the value of humble beginnings and small things. Not to be overwhelmed by the panoramic picture because of fear or ambition, but to find faithfulness and steadfastness in the persistent pursuit of the incremental daily priorities, that when diligently strung together spell out the makings of a destiny. I need to rediscover life in the now. This moment. There is so much capacity in me for wickedness, pride, sloth and apathy. So easy it is to be deluded by empty promises of tomorrow and the opportunities that await me there.

The epic journey. The colossal elephant. Undertaken with one step after the other. Consumed one bite after another. Repetition. Consistency. Habitual practice of a craft or a behavior might never bring about absolute perfection, but it would develop permanence, and that is how all true progress is made. Water breaks the rock not through sheer force, but through the perpetual drip and the constant flow. Mastery over the routine, the discipline, the everyday...this I believe is the key that unlocks the door of potential realized. This is the foundation on which greatness is built.

SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN...

Day by day,
Dear Lord God these three things I pray:
To see Thee more clearly,
To love Thee more dearly,
To follow Thee more nearly,
Day by day.
Amen.

Who among us can honestly and fervently pray the words from this little children's prayer, and in having it answered not greatly please and warm the heart of God? Simplicity over eloquence. Passion over professionalism. Honest pursuits of Truth over dogma. May each of us as God's little children cling yet again to innocence and guilessness. May it be said of me: "Let this little one come to me, and do not hinder him, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." May it be said of us all. (Mark 10:13-14)

"WHAT IF?"

Someone very close to me on the verge of death once told me that life is to be lived in such a way that when we arrive at the end of our journey, we have as little unanswered "What if?" questions as possible. It reminds me of a quote I once read. "Regret for things done can be tempered by time. It is regret for things not done that is inconsolable." While I don't believe this statement to be universally true, it does highlight a very relevant fact: There is far more lingering and painful regret attributed to things undone, than to things that should never have been done. This is a generalization of course, and there are undoubtedly many situations where the opposite is true. However, when I do something regrettable...there are lessons to be learned and there is wisdom to be gained if I embrace the humility to welcome them. Alternatively, for the things that I should have done and desired to do and have forever lost the opportunity to pursue...that kind of remorse can linger for a lifetime.

I'd much rather live my life in such a way that my scars and bruises are indications of my growth, as opposed to never having risked or ventured very much at all. A full life is about experiencing as many memorable moments as possible...for good or bad. I'd much rather look back on my days from the balcony of old age with an abundance of crests and troughs to reflect upon. This to me, is abundant life. Not safety. Not predictability. Rather...variety and extremity and all increments in between. Heart-wrenching valleys and breathtaking summits. But God willing, never the grey, apathetic twilight of inaction and neutrality that knows neither defeat nor victory. I refuse to believe and accept that this is the kind of meager existence I entered into this world for...irrelevance. No! I resist the seduction to retire to the grave entirely without incident. I will delight in the fight. I will safeguard my light, and NOT fade quietly into the night.

TRIALS IN A TENT...

The scene is the movie, "Matrix: Reloaded". Seraph has just attacked Neo and gestures with his hand to stop the fight:

Seraph: Good. The Oracle has many enemies. I had to be sure.
Neo: Of what?
Seraph: That you are The One.
Neo: Could've just asked.
Seraph: No. You do not truly know someone, until you fight them.

Every meaningful, genuine relationship will at some point be tested by the fire of conflict. I believe this is true of friendships, family, lovers...even a human being's relationship with the Creator of all things. In the latter, the wrestling takes place as a result of our inability or unwillingness to understand and embrace the work of God in our lives. There comes a time in all of the relationships we define as precious where strife or friction makes the thought of walking out on our commitment to the other seem very attractive. It is in having every opportunity and even desire (albeit selfish and ignorant at the time) to walk out on our relationship with Jesus, that we often discover the magnitude and weight of the communion we share with Him. In the time of testing we consider and remember the history we have with Him. We recall the moments when His loving embrace touched the deepest reaches of our hearts and left it's imprint on us as permanently as a tattoo on our souls.

Then we discover, in the midst of our pain and confusion, that while we've always had the freedom to renig on our friendship with God and turn our back on Him in rebellion, somewhere along the line that choice ceased to be an option. We have been touched too deeply...loved too completely...and we are no more able to walk out on His kindness than we are able to escape our own skin. We begin to understand that a sometimes hard road in the hands of a sovereign Savior is infinitely better than an often comfortable one in the hand of the world. Our devotion to Him is matured in the furnace of hardship. Sooner or later, every believer will find themselves like Jacob, in a tent with God wrestling until dawn (Genesis 32:22-28). The intensity and length of the night may vary from person to person, but the experience itself is universal to all earnest pursuits of faith. If we remain honest and persevere we'll walk away from it blessed all the more, cherishing it as an encounter with God...a place where we caught a fresh glimpse of His face, and walked (or limped) away forever changed by His grace.

IT'S ABOUT TIME

It's March 1st, 2007. It really is sobering to think about how fast time flies by. There's a subtlety to it that lulls me into a false sense of confidence with regards to how much time I think I have left to accomplish what I need to accomplish. As one moment flows into another, or even as I'm contemplating some future event or situation, it can easily appear as if the journey I'm on takes place at a snail's pace. I have all the time in the world. No need for all this rushing about and fretting over things undone. Yet somehow, when at any present moment I evaluate where I am, and the time it took to get here, it's apparent to me that the time has escaped me far faster than it seemed to pass in reaching this point. I've observed it time and time again. Christmas 2007 seems a significant ways off, and undoubtedly when it finally arrives I'll find myself wondering: "Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday when it was Christmas a year ago.".

This reminds me of how precious the gift of life is...and how fragile. It challenges me to grasp the fact that the time to pursue my dreams is now! The time to seize my God-given destiny and become the man I am meant to be, is now! The time to live with purpose, savor each moment and take joy in the journey, is now! Diligence, stewardship, industriousness...these virtues demand my attention now. There are gifts and talents that I've been entrusted with that will never see the light of day unless I'm faithful and determined in drawing them out of me...now. Proverbs 6:9-11, Proverbs 14:23. Tomorrow...that is the realm of dreamers and sluggards. It is the language of loss and regret. It is only in embracing and fulfilling my responsibilities today that I find myself steadily reaping a significant purpose...one day at a time.

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

I often hear of the analogy made between the Christian life and the practical waging of war...and rightly so. Battle and war imagery used in depicting spiritual warfare is not a foreign concept when it comes to the Bible. One of the most recent struggles highlighted in Christian media has been the concept of "Every Man's Battle"...the struggle and fight for sexual purity and integrity. Of course, this is a conflict that applies to women as well, and one which has been addressed in similar fashion. And sexuality is but one of the areas where battle lines are being drawn in the name of righteousness and the advancement of God's kingdom. Believers around the world are being taught and challenged to wage war against carnal and ungodly desires including greed, unforgiveness and pride. So...I got to thinking one day.

Looking at lust as an example...which I'll define as a harmful, idolatrous, deviant and obsessive distortion of the beautiful God-inspired pleasure and gift we call sex: The nature of war implies a willful, deliberate resistance against a detestable enemy...an enemy whose ideals and intentions I am in complete opposition to. War also implies an authentic, passionate devotion to the values and characteristics of the entity to which I've pledged my allegiance...be that a king, a country, or an ideology. If this be the case, what am I to do when the alleged enemy I face is not only one I fail to hate, but one I've learned to co-exist with and tolerate...even indulge? What do I do when the kingdom who's interests I'm meant to enforce fails to rouse the previously mentioned passion and commitment in my heart toward it? How do I effectively and perpetually declare and wage war on the enemy of lust or any other demonic vice? It's my belief that this war, and a war it is indeed, is first and foremost fought and won or lost in the deepest reaches of my heart.

It starts with a heartfelt cry to my heavenly Father to be blessed with the supernatural gift of loving what He loves, and hating what He hates. It begins with me being grieved by my own sin in the same way that my sins grieve the heart of my God...and as passion for the glory of His name begins to run through my veins like an unquenchable flame. It is upon this passion that virtues like self-control find their strength. It's to the degree that my own desires are conformed to the will and desires of God, that I can expect a sustainable, genuine victory over the onslaught of depravity launched against me. The greater my hunger for purity, the greater my dedication to the fight for it. (Proverbs 16:26) If my desire for obedience to God is complacent and apathetic at best, my chances of resisting the seductions of hell are about as good as a snowball's chance of surviving in it.

IN THIS MOMENT...

Dear heavenly Father,

It's true to say that I spend most of my life with my eyes blinded, and my mind oblivious to the goodness and kindness you pour out over me. How quickly and easily I allow myself to be distracted. How fickle so often is my devotion to you. I cannot begin to number how often my choices must have grieved your heart. All those times when you would spread out a banquet before me, and I chose instead to grovel in a pig-pen. All those times your outstretched arms awaited my embrace, when I clung to harlots instead. So many times my judgment has been clouded, distorted and tainted.

Yet this moment...even if only for a moment, and even if only so dimly, I recognize You. I acknowledge You. I confess that no-one has ever loved me like You. Through fire, storm, joy and calm, it's Your love alone that has been constant. When I have been faithless, Your love has remained faithful. You have believed in me, cheered for me, dreamed with me...You alone have been my solid rock. You are my unshakable fortress. You are the foundation on which my feet stand firm. You have run out to me, called me your own, canceled my shame and lifted my blame. Your mercy is astounding. Your patience is wonderful. Your compassion is immeasurable. Your kindness is unceasing. Your love is complete. My heart lifts it's praise to You, for You have made me glad. You wipe my tears. Even your discipline is gracious. Let all the earth declare your glory. Let cosmic wonders sing of your beauty...galaxies breathtakingly stretched out in honor to You. Let every creature that draws breath ascribe worship to Your name. In this moment, my soul crowns you as King. Thanks be to You, God of all. Grateful are my thoughts toward You.

In this moment, my judgment is sound and my thinking, clear. My devotion is yours...in this moment.

THE MEASURE OF A MAN...

In his letter to the Hebrews, Paul wrote: "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.". As disciples of Christ, our continuous quest should be the increasing transformation of our attitudes, characters, values and actions into the image of our Master and Lord. Salvation from sin was meant to inaugurate our entrance into the faith marathon of life, not as a laurel to be rested upon as if no further commitment was necessary. Christ is after Christ likeness in the hearts of His people. How do I as a believer embrace an accurate view of myself with regards to my spiritual maturity, and the health and genuineness of my faith. It's entirely possible, and even probable, that I can determine the substance of my faith by the size of the challenge, temptation or trial that overwhelms it. The pressures I cave into, are indications of the level to which my growth in Jesus has progressed.

If this is true, and I suspect that it is at least largely so, then it casts a serious indictment on the caliber of discipleship that I have allowed myself so often to become content with. I imagine there are numerous believers that are in a similar place. When I consider the pettiness and relative insignificance of some of the "trials" and "sufferings" that I allow myself to become angered, discouraged or disheartened over, I become overwhelmingly convinced of my need for a Savior. I become aware of the undeniable fact that I was never, ever going to muster up the moral fortitude to pull myself up by my own boot straps and become a better, nobler man. I was, am, and always will be, utterly dependent on the life transforming power and influence of the all powerful Spirit of the living God. And yet in the midst of my frailty, the tender mercy of the Father invites me to cast my cares upon Him, no matter how heavy or light the load...because He cares for me. What a wonderful thing. May He train my fingers for battle and my hands for war (Psalm 144:1). May he teach me how to surrender to his will...how to master the sin that crouches at my door. The sin that ever desires to slay me.